So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
