Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
