remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
