I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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