Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
