I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
