Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
