You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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