Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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