Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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