got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
