i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
