I could have mohawked her pubes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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