Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
