I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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