It's Friday. Sex?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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