By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
