your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
