Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
