it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
farters have to be the big spoon...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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