My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
