just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
people are starting to question the shark bite story
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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