lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
