I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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