His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
