A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
