my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
