I must be too annoying 4 u.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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