Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think i have two assholes
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
