I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
