at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
