I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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