You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
