i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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