i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
