if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
