Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
