Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
