so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
