Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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