we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
