you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
