And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
