I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
