Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
