She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
