Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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