I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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