guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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