watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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