I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
