why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my sisters under your porch take her home
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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