he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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